It’s been a while since I blogged as life just got in the way. My job radically changed, I started to deal with some personal stuff, I said goodbye to some really important people, my eldest daughter and her little polycule bought a house (I felt very very old) and my Dad needed to recuperate and rebuild a bungalow before continuing on with the boat revamp. Also, despite me having a long chat with Betty and Billy (the 2 shockingly old dogs), letting them know that it is ok to die and that there is a nice spot picked out for both of them in the garden, they are still very much alive. Absolutely batty, with no clue what’s going on, no idea where to go to the toilet, eating well, looking quite comfortable and definitely not dead. Although Billy smells like he has been dead for quite some time…
Back to the boat. She is still glorious and I still love her very much. We have not been able to cruise over winter due to the mild inconvenience of having no bathroom or kitchen. I’m not as young as I used to be and no longer like to rough it so I feel a working bathroom and kitchen are quite important. Happily, although not yet the finished article, they are finally, eminently, useable. So we took the opportunity to pop out for a few days to see if we could remember how to make her go.
It all started off well, we managed to start the long silent engine after the obligatory checks to make sure the oil hadn’t fallen out into the bilge again, untied the ropes, remembered to put on the centre lines for either side, filled up with water, put the wonderboom on the top of the boat so I could share my excellent music choices with the lucky people of the canal, and suddenly we were actually cruising 🙂
She handled like a wallowing hippo and at low speed was slow to respond to movement of the tiller, so all normal there then. We were facing Willington so planned to have a short cruise to the woods, stop there for the night, swing round and then have a night in Alrewas before coming home. I like the woods at Willington, it is a nice quiet mooring spot, next to a couple of lovely walks and, as a little bonus, is far enough away from the noisy honeypot moorings in the centre of the village. And so it was that I collected my second man comment of the day as we were coming in to moor at exactly my favourite spot. Now, as Keith doesn’t drive the boat I do not know if I attract comments because I am a woman at the tiller or because some people have an intrinsic need to share instructions with any passing boater about how to handle their boat. I am a member of a lot of different boating groups and I never hear the men complain about this but it is often a point of discussion amongst the women. If you have read any of my other blogs, you will know that it is a regular occurrence.
As I was passing the water point, a friendly fisherman sitting in the middle of the winding hole on the towpath commented ‘that’s a big boat for you to be driving love’. I just replied ‘yes’ and carried on dancing to Fleetwood Mac. I have found that it is always better not to really engage with it, occasionally my mouth does just operate without the intervention of my brain, but today I was feeling chilled, it had been a nice cruise in the sunshine and I can’t cure either stupidity or sexism. On the approach to my favourite mooring spot, (see photo) Keith has just popped up to give me a drink and get ready to step off to moor but isn’t actually on the stern. I’m using the forward momentum of the boat to coast into the space as I pass a few moored boats about 100 yards before my target spot. I was out of gear and had only come past the allotments and under the bridge at tickover as the allotments are on a bend and the canal straightens out as you pass under the bridge, so it is difficult to see approaching boats/paddleboarders/canoes/swimming golden retrievers. On passing the last boat, a man pokes his face out of his side hatch and frantically starts waving his arm about in a fashion reminiscent of the men trying to take off in their flying machines with the wings and the pedals. ‘Slow down’ he shouts, ‘you’re going too fast’ whilst glaring at me. His boat, a little narrowboat of about 40ft has barely moved in my virtually non-existent wake, despite his bow and stern ropes being so slack it’s surprising the boat doesn’t just float off on it’s own accord. I look at Keith to translate as I cannot hear the guy due to the music and my general lack of interest in glaring men, ‘slow down, you’re going too fast’ says Keith, ‘but actually you are not and the guy is just looking for someone to shout at’. Keith steps up onto the stern and shoots the guy a look and he disappears back into his boat. Because I have no scruples and am all up for annoying grumpy people, I move the boat a bit closer to his than I intended, find a glass of wine and turn the music up.
After an uneventful night, I turn the boat around in the mouth of the marina entrance looking like a professional (there was no-one around. Typical) and we head to Alrewas for a night on the river section before swinging around again and coming home. An uneventful cruise with a lovely BBQ on the towpath that evening and it is all too soon before we are heading into Alrewas to turn round. The river section completely failed to drown us, sink the boat or produce the Kraken and I managed to not get my bow stuck in the reeds at the end of the lock landing. Going through Alrewas, we planned to turn at the winding hole just before the lock. Approaching the bridge next to the house with the famous quote painted on it ‘there is nothing – absolutely nothing – half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats’ said Ratty to Mole, the canal is tight and twisty with moored boats either side.
I approach slowly and have my bow under the bridge as the oncoming boat increases his speed and aims straight for me. As usual, I’m moving slower than walking pace as I know that the canal is tight and I want to wind just after the bridge. I had seen the oncoming boat and had thought that as I was much closer to the bridge, he would hold still to let me pass. Clearly I have assumed a level of common sense in this boater that he simply does not possess. I give him a long blast on my horn and change gear to reverse, giving the kind of revs that are really only needed on rivers to bring me to a halt quickly.
My bow at this point is through the bridge but it is clear that the oncoming boat thinks that he can squeeze through at the same time, in a similar fashion to the night bus, as neither of the 2 men standing on the stern are taking any notice of current events, continuing to head directly for my boat. I have stopped, largely due to my low speed and forceful revs in reverse and am beginning to move backwards. Now, an object in motion will continue in motion until acted on by an external force (like another boat), basic physics, the problem being that my boat is around 20 tonnes and that is a lot of inertia to act on rapidly for a diesel engine. Therefore, changing anything about a course of direction is a slow process which has been completely ignored by this boat as he forces his way through the bridge, within a whisper of my hull. I have managed to reverse into the bank, tucking the boat into the space between the bridge and a moored boat more by luck than any degree of skill. The boat has a sign on the bow doors ‘2 grumpy men live here’. Bloody right they do. The boat passes me with both of the men on the stern staring forward and refusing to meet my gaze. ‘F@*$ me, you could have made that a bit more difficult’ I say loudly as they pass but oddly receive no response. Don’t worry though guys, I’ve got you clocked and we will meet again. After disentangling us from the bank flora I get through the bridge without incident, passing a moored boat just before the winding hole. The chap puts his head out of the hatch and says ‘he nearly sank you there!’ We have a brief discussion about rude boaters before I completely bugger up the turn by passing slightly too far out of the winding hole before beginning to swing my bow into its apex, ending up turning the boat around in 10ish not so easy steps and only needing to be poled off the far corner once, taking a bit of hedgerow with me. Of course, there were plenty of onlookers for that turn!
Due to this incident I have started filming our travels as a slow ‘live’ feed and adding short videos of interesting/tricky bits. As I’m bothering to film it, I thought I’d share so I have a shiny new YouTube channel. Please follow, subscribe and like 🙂
Narrowboat Erinillie@claire-erinillie
https://youtube.com/@Claire-erinillie